Personal loss is more than sadness. It's an unfillable void. We can do our best to try, but I'm convinced it's not supposed to get filled up. That hole in our life is there so we don't forget. If you mark it from the one year anniversary of my mom's death, it's been a year of loss, including the passing two friends.
To cope with this last one, a dear friend whom I've known for nearly 30 years, I turned to the crocheting of a prayer/comfort shawl for his wife. It was my vacation crochet project. Something I could do, since so far away, I wasn't present for his funeral, which was tough for me.
Pattern: Seraphina's Shawl, a free crochet pattern, meant for thicker yarn and larger hook. Wanting something light as angel's wings I chose a lacier look.
Yarn: Malabrigo Lace, 2 skeins
Hook: 2.5mm
Thoughts: This is crochet that looks and feels like lace knitting. I'll do this one again. Thinking about the purpose of a comfort shawl, and always afraid that the recipient won't receive it in the spirit intended, I realize that its purpose goes both ways. The memories, intentions and grief worked through in the making of these projects also benefits me.
I've lost a faithful follower of my blog since day one, over eight hundred posts ago. I miss him.
Update: since the writing of this post we have received word of another loss, our vibrant and talented cousin Michael in Denmark. I look at his accomplishments and feel the meaning of his music and lyrics - Dance Like Nobody's Watching for example, and my personal favourite, on the lighter side, Dishes Done. Life is short.
I'm so sorry about your friend. It's hard enough to lose a parent but when our friends go, too, it's just terrible. I felt like I was drowning in my grief when my friend Debbie was killed, and you're right, the void remains so that we remember.
Posted by: Carole | November 30, 2012 at 07:12 AM
So sorry to hear about your friend - what a nice thought to do the shawl - it's lovely. Seems that it has helped you and his wife. You are so right - life is short.
Posted by: Margaret Smith | November 30, 2012 at 10:26 AM
I'm very sorry to hear of the loss of your loved ones.
Posted by: Kristen | November 30, 2012 at 01:43 PM
I was so sorry to hear about Michael's loss. I first saw it on Facebook. He was so talented and I have his cd that he signed and gave to me at Elina's wedding. It is a big loss to his family and a big loss of a great talent!! Rosie
Posted by: Rosemary Foti | November 30, 2012 at 06:07 PM
The shawl is just beautiful and a such a thoughtful gift!!! I am sure the receipient will be so delighted. Each stitch was knit with love and thoughtfulness.
By the way I taught eighth grade today!!! Oy, they were a lively, active, chatty bunch. I had to
be "on my toes" every minute to keep them in line.
Posted by: Rosemary Foti | November 30, 2012 at 06:10 PM
I'm sorry that you've had so many losses this year. Each loss is difficult, but having them bunch up like that leaves no room for recovery. And I do believe we can recover. There will always be tha that hole, but we can go on and live a new life as we cope with the absence in that life of one we loved. Blessings on you.
Posted by: Dorothy | December 02, 2012 at 10:58 AM
Beautiful shawl; I'm glad it helped with your loss.
Posted by: Chancy | December 03, 2012 at 01:48 PM
The heart knows how to seek comfort.
Posted by: LoriAngela | December 05, 2012 at 12:03 PM
Beautiful blue shawl! I'm very sorry to hear about your friend, we all know that life is too short. By the way, thanks to the pattern that you shared. Your shawl is truly beautiful and lovely.
Posted by: Knitting Needle Sizes | December 12, 2012 at 10:29 PM
Tears tears tears.
Posted by: Elina | December 13, 2012 at 07:46 PM