Of dreams lost and found

My baby is betrothed. Officially. She has a ring on her finger. Never mind the fact that she is eight years younger than the average age of first marriage for women in our province, currently at age 30. It's interesting, long lost high school classmates have started calling in disbelief. Two have called to commiserate; having parents who aren't excited about their impending commitment. One because of his fiancee's nationality, another because she has only dated her intended for eight months. Throw in our concern about future son in law's student status, the common denominator is the age factor.

A step in the right direction: I found a great book for mothers of the bride called "It's her wedding I can cry if I want to." A humorous approach to serious issues. The author says that I have to give up my dreams and let her live hers. When, in your eyes your daughter is too young, even if you're 75 and she's 40, nobody is going to fit the bill. Ever.

Reality check: what's the worst that can happen? It's difficult letting our kids own their own problems. But once you're there might as well enjoy the ride. So here I am, the MOB (Mother of the bride) with the MOG (Mother of the groom) discovering bejeweled cowgirl hats at a wedding shop south of the border. I imagine that a few dreams were given up and created at a wedding where they wear these.

And here she is, trying on her future dreams. And look at that wee one from another wedding party in the background of the second shot. Watch out, mama, you'll get your turn. The knitting content? My DD asked me to knit her a wedding cardigan. She knows how to keep Mom happy.

Comments

[Michele]

Well, I guess some sort of congratulations are in order...As Mothers, I think letting go of our childrenis one of the toughest things we have to do. On a funnier note, I was wondering why you went all the way from Canada to Mexico (south of the border) to look at wedding dresses (and hats). After a few minutes pondering this question, I realized I had been a little too 'USA-centric' and remembered that south of the border, for Canadians, is the USA!!! LOL I think I need more coffee this morning.

[Beth]

I'll want to see wedding photos with you wearing that cowboy hat! ;)

[Donna]

The ring is gorgeous and so is your daughter. I wish all of you the very best!!

[Dorothy]

Li - Take it from me, weddings can be emotional for mothers - bride's or groom's. I'm happy for your daughter that she has a mother who's willing to give up on her dreams to help her daughter fulfill hers. I'm confident everything will turn out well - how could it not with such a great mother of the bride?

[Rebekah]

What a beautiful dress. I was married at 23, nearly 10 years ago. Of course in my social circle I was one of the oldest to get married, so many of my friends were married at 18, I thought they were insane.

Love the cowgirl hats. As well as the new trend for the bride to have color on her dress.

You'll make an amazing wedding cardigan I'm sure.

[Alison]

Congrats, congrats congrats!!! I am excited for you all and I just love the dress!!! BTW I was married at 23.5 my hubbie just 22 - and it's been over 6 years now... and still going strong!! She'll be fine - you raised her right I am sure!

[Rosie]

Wow you daughter looks gorgeous in that dress!! Is that the one? Her ring is sooooo strikingly beautiful!!! I love the contemporary band and look of it. I am getting psyched for this wedding. Congratulations!!!!

[eyeleen]

beautiful dress! Is that the one? You look great in the hats. and I'm sure you'll make a beautiful cardigan. Have fun and relax, after all you are the MOB!

[Rosie]

Li, won't the long back of the wedding cardigan get in the way of the exquisite large bow in the back of dress .

[monica]

Congrats to you and your daughter! Have fun planning the wedding!

[Emma.]

I think it is better,for everyone,to gracefully accept and be happy about your daughter's wedding. 24 years ago I married my husband. We were both 22. His mother made him choose ''her or us'',so his family didn't attend. My family,well mother,was sullen and rude. We're very happily married,but our family relationships never recovered fully.
Things might not work out,but that's true at any age. Better to make it a joyous event for everyone.
So,congratulations to your daughter. I wish her,and your whole extended family,much happiness.

[Kristen]

Congratulations all 'round! Trust that everything will work out fine- they are in love! Your daughter's ring is lovely.

[heather]

True love can bubble up at any age. It's the maturity to survive each other's foibles that they'll have to learn together. Congratulations on becoming a MOB. She looks beautiful!!

[Angie]

Wishing you every happiness.
The day my (13 year old) daughter was born, I told my mother-in-law and my mother that SHE gets to pick what kind of wedding she wants. I was still smarting from my own hi-jacked pseudo royal wedding that was nothing like the under 30 guest dream I had always had.
You're so lucky your daughter wants your knitting. What a good mom. I'm harbouring an unhealthy (probably to be unrealized) dream of a shetland shawl that is used later as a christening wrap. I should just put it in a story and not burden a bride with it. Thanks

[Lynne]

It is what it is, Li. Just love her, you know? And knit her the most wonderful wedding shrug you can.

[Karen]

I am stuck for words. That doesn't happen often. I understand what you are feeling Li. I wish her nothing but happiness. :)

[kathy]

What a beautiful ring. So unusual. The sweater your daughter wants you to make for her wedding is so pretty and will look so nice with the wedding dress.

Could you send me a copy of the herringbone scarf? It's so pretty in the variegated yarn that you used. Thanks.

[liz]

My sister was married at 21, she is still happily, even blissfully married 23 years later. This Christmas my neice became engaged at 21, we have every reason to believe that her marriage is going to be as happy as her parent's has been. Sometimes you just know, and that may be at 20 and it may be at 80.I am sure that things will go well for your daughter. I believe you can spend the childhood years giving them the tools to make their way in the world, and that we should celebrate when our children can use those tools to make their own way in the world.
Best of luck to you all.

[sandy]

Oh My God, I want to cry looking at her in that dress! How beautiful! I love the green sash! sniffsniff

[Chrissie]

Your daughter's ring is so unique and beautiful!

Speaking as someone who is closer to her in age (I'm 25), I think it is great that you are being supportive, even though it is not how you had pictured things working out. My bf and I just moved in together, and most of my family disapproves, and some has gone so far as to quit communicating with us.